So with the pending trip to Cincinnatti on my mind I keep thinking about all the changes that are to come for our family (hopefully). I wonder what life will be like with a child who does not have a serious medical issue? I think of the milestones we've already hit...like bringing them home, having 2 wireless babies (that was a great day), cutting back on all the medicines that they were taking etc. What will our life be like?
It may sound strange to some, but the #1 thing I'm going to miss when Birk doesn't have the Trache is the smell that Birk has. Ok, you may be thinking to yourself...'uh, gross Jenny, why would you like the smell of secretions?'. Truth is I DON'T. I just love the smell of Birk. It is the only real smell that I've known on him since August of 2009. It is so unique. When I nuzzle in to give him a kiss on his neck, trying to kiss around the Trache collars he wears every day I smell it. I will miss that.
Things I know I will not miss. Carrying that stupid suctioner EVERYWHERE we go. It's heavy, it stinks and I hate it. I will also not miss suctioning Birk. I feel bad suctioning him in public. I wonder what people are thinking when I have to stick that catheter down his trache. I wonder if it grosses people out. I will also not miss how often we have to suction him when he is sick. We go nights where we get maybe 2 hours of sleep because of the secretions. That I will not miss.
God has a lot in store for our family this year. I'm so anxious to see how it plays out. One thing I do know is that he gave Birk the gift of courage and resilience. I know I've said it before, but Birk is the strongest little man I have ever met.