Monday, February 25, 2013

Conversation on the ride home today

Nick: "Whose favorite vegetable is green beans?"
Birk: "Mommy"
Nick: "Whose favorite vegetable is peas?"
Addy: "Birky."
Nick: "Who loves sweet corn?"
Me: "DADDY!"
Birk: "If you put it on the plate you won't get to eat it, but if you bite it, it will grow."

Nick and I: "Um, WHAT?"

Friday, February 22, 2013

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Wow, I suck!

I suck at blogging these days.

Life seems to be passing us by... days go quickly, weeks fly by and then the weekend comes.  Before I can blink the weekend is over and the new week starts.  The most surreal is that in less than a month my precious 1 pound 13 ounce, and 1 pound 12 ounce miracles babies are going to be 4.  FOUR YEARS OLD!  What the?  When did this happen?

They have truly turned into two of the coolest people (with their own tendencies to be little turds).  The thing is 4 years ago when I was as big as a house, I wasn't even aware of how much I would fall in love.  How my whole life, and my priorities for my life and theirs would change.  I became an adult.  More importantly, I became a Mom.  This has been the greatest job that God has blessed me with.  I can't even begin to thank him for entrusting these lives to me.  Now I'll admit, I'm not the best.  I let my kids eat cold hot dogs for dinner, fruit snacks for breakfast and I likely let them watch too much TV.  However, I am also proud that they can write their own names, 
say the Lords Prayer, and have the biggest kindest hearts at the age of (almost) 4.  This makes this Mommy proud.  They love to cuddle with me, they are the bestest friends and I hope that never goes away.  

So while I have been very bad at blogging, it is because I'm wrapped up with life with two almost 4 year olds (it doesn't matter how many times I say it, it still sounds untrue).  So in honor of really nothing today, I decided to post some of my favorite pictures.  

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

A little of this (trip to Omaha last weekend) and a little of that (doctors visit last week)!!!

What can I say, I LOVE to take pictures o my kids!!!!

Mommy Guilt

I’m sure anyone who has looked at facebook recently has seen the link to the blog Momastry. This is a beautifully written blog that is written by a woman who is not the perfect mom. I think what I love most about this blog is that not only does she help us Mom’s who work full time jobs, also us moms who stay home with our kids understand the ever present “mommy guilt”, but she is so open about her own suffering. In her “ABOUT ME” section she points out that she used to be a bulimic and an alcoholic.

I have always had this image in my head that the perfect mom is the one that gets to stay home with her kids, she never gets mad at them and yells, she has lived a picture perfect life, her husband thinks she is the cutest/skinniest little thing and she is a great cook. (I know, right?) The truth is I’m not any of these things. I get mad at my kids. Sometimes I irrationally get mad at my kids. Sometimes I don’t want to sit on the floor and play dolls, or cars. Sometimes I don’t want color pictures. There are times I just want to be alone so I lock myself in my bedroom and pretend I’m going to the restroom. (Truth is, I’m just laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling listening to them pound on the door calling my name and wondering when they will give up. I usually lose that battle). There are times I have zero energy to cook a meal, let alone a healthy meal so my kids will eat cold hot dogs with ketchup. There are nights when I leave the dishes in the sink because it was all I could do to cook the dinner. (I’m confident some of these confessions are grossing some of you out completely). Oftentimes, I wonder to myself, would my life would be easier if I did stay at home? I mean, I wouldn’t have to rush around every morning starting right away at 6am getting myself ready, then getting the kids ready, getting our breakfasts and lunches packed, loading the car and then starting my full work day. Only to return home to an evening jam packed with stuff. Would my house be cleaner? Would my kids be happier? Would I be happier?

You see, I needed to read this blog when I did. I’ve been struggling with this for a while now. Do I have what it takes to work full time and be away from my kids all day long 5 days a week? However, do I have what it takes to stay at home with them all day long 7 days a week? There is no answer for this question. What this wonderful woman taught me is that she isn’t perfect, neither am I. I need to pray not for answers on what I should do, but rather prayers for peace with what I’m doing now.

So right now I’m telling anyone who is reading this blog. My house is a mess. I’m not a perfect mom. My kids have gone the last 3 days without a bath and may not get one tonight… I don’t do laundry once a week and I go to bed with dirty dishes in my sink. However, I have a wonderful husband who supports me in this chaos. I have 2 of the most awesome kids I could ever imagine getting. I hope someday they remember the fun times we did have and can see how hard their Dad and I worked to give them a very happy home!

I may not always see the blessings I have and crave some other life, but today I’m going to try hard to be thankful for all that I do have.

So for right now I leave you with a link to the post. Please read it if you’re a mom and you’re feeling the “mommy guilt.” It’s ok… you’re not alone. No matter what your decision, You’re doing the best you can!

Friday, February 1, 2013

Influential People

Have you ever had someone in your life that has made an enormous impact, but you have never (or can’t figure out how) to tell them? I had a realization yesterday that I have one of those people in my life. It is the kids’ pediatrician.

Here is a little background of my story. When the twins were born the doctors told me that I should do major research about who I was going to have as a pediatrician. It would be important that this doctor knew our history, was willing to work WITH us, and have knowledge of premature children. Uh, OK? How do I go about that??? So I made several (SEVERAL) calls around and found out that a Dr. at Mercy North had a few other preemie kids. So, we decided to go with her. Dr. Rivers was great. She learned our story quick, she was ALWAYS there for us and we just loved her. We saw her the day before Birk has his trache put in. She thought he was fine, and then after Dr. Young sent us to the hospital and the next morning he was trached, she CAME to Mercy to apologize and to see Birks. That is some doctor. Well, Dr. Rivers decided she was going to move back to Minnesota to be closer to her family. So naturally we were upset. How were we going to find someone else? Dr. Rivers had taken a few trips during our time seeing her and we were fortunate enough to get into Dr. Anderson’s schedule (same office, just different pediatrician). We liked him a lot, but knew he was full of patients. Then Dr. Rivers called us and asked if we had found a new pediatrician. When I told her we hadn’t she said, “Well, I was approached by Dr. Anderson and he would like to take on Birks, and Adelyne if you are willing.” I was beyond touched. A doctor WANTED to take on our kids.

Dr. Anderson has since proven to us what an amazing Doctor, father, and just all around great person he is. He was there for us every step of the way as we prepared Birk for surgery. Talking numerous times to Cincinnati Children’s to best understand what we needed to do. He has always been honest with me in regards to every decision we make. And when I saw we make, I mean it. He takes my opinions and my thoughts and we determine the best care for the kids. Man, we are so lucky! What warms my heart is that when he is examining the kids or talking about something, he includes them. Yesterday we were here and he was checking B’s ears (he has had these chronic ear infections the past couple months). Instead of just talking to us, he brings in this children’s book that shows a diagram of the inner ear. He walks ALL 4 of us through this.

Another very unique twist to our story is Dr. Anderson is married to Dr. Fong, who just so happens to be a Neonatologist at Mercy NICU. So, we’ve been blessed to have a husband and wife medical team take care of our kids at some point in their lives.

I hope someday I can tell Dr. Anderson how much the work he does, and the work he does is having a lasting impact on the families he works with. I just love being a witness to anyone who works with kids and who is making a difference in the world.

Thank you Dr. Anderson for being so good to Birk, Addy, Nick and myself.

In the 3 years (almost 4) that we’ve known you …. We’ve been blessed.