I am where I need to be!!

Ever experience something that you feel is just going to tear you down?  Ever have the feeling that the each day is just not going to be the same anymore?  Ever have the feeling that you might not survive because you don't feel like you have the strength to?

I have.

I have been at these moments far too often in my life.  I have felt at my weakest. Broken and torn.   I have felt that I might not be able to care for my children, do the things I love, and be the person and live the life that I know.

The best news is that so far to date...I have survived.  I have actually thrived in these moments.  For it has been in these moments, days, weeks, months, and even years that I have seen the greatness of my God.  I have seen how he can turn a women who is weak, torn and scared and show me (physically) the love and strength that he can give to me.  Even better that I can use this blog and try and describe how God is using our family to spread his glory.

I had the pleasure of meeting a new friend at Church this morning who came up to me and thanked me for this blog.  I can't even begin to express how much this touched me.  For me, this blog started out as a document of our life so that I wouldn't forget these special moments.  It then turned into a journal of days and emotions of the trials that we faced.  Now it a blessing to me.  A blessing that others would allow me to enter into their days and that they would read the words that I have to write.  For that I'm grateful and honored.  I'm grateful that people read this blog, they think of us...and that you pray.  Please know I am praying for you!  I'm praying that you might see God in your life the way that I've been blessed by seeing.  What may seem like an endless, hopeless situation (twins born at 24 weeks 6 days...a 5 month old who now has a trache)....can turn into the greatest miracle that you can't even begin to define.  Blessings come in many shapes, sizes.  You just need to open your eyes and take a look. Who knows maybe that little boy/girl looking up at you smiling or whispering "I love you." at night is YOUR miracle.  Treasure it.  Praise the one that  gave it to you and don't ever take your miracles for granted!

God Bless you!

Go Diego Go ~~~

So driving home from daycare today I started playing Diego on the DVD player.  As the theme song came on I started to sing and from the backseat Birk tells me...

"Mommy stop singing. How about we let Diego sing this song?"

I look back and he has his famous grin on.  (that one that is like...I know I asked you to stop singing and I'm also the cutest thing on the planet....)

Wow.

Are you a grown up?

Ok so here is one of my "venting" blogs.

I feel like lately I've been surrounded by adults who are not aware of how to act like a grown up.  They have no manners, they are completely unprofessional and have no respect for those that want to help them.  My initial reaction is just frustration with people like this, but as I poured myself my glass of wine (my relaxation for the day) I started to feel like I shouldn't feel frustrated with these people, but really I should feel sorry that they don't have the kind of upbringing that I did (and that I want for my children).  My children will always know how to be respectful of others (as Nick and I both did).  They will understand that when they are in school, or at work that they MUST respect their authority.  They will know that actions speak louder than words and they will demonstrate goodness with their actions.  They will also know how to be grateful and show your appreciation every chance you can get.

While I may not always be successful in these areas, but this is my vow that I will do everything in my power to instill the kind of manners, respect and love for Christ that my parents gave to me (and Nick's parents gave to him).  Because what i've grown to learn is that in that relationship with Christ is when I really started to learn how respect can be given... even given to those who aren't necessarily giving it back to me.  Those that aren't quite sure of how to be a "grown up" yet...even though their age would say they should be one.

So I will pray.  I will pray for these people that they will soon learn how to grow up and I will pray for patience and acceptance for me.

Ok, now I'm going to finish my wine and check out some Pinterest.  That always tends to make me happy!  ;-)

Oh the joys of 2 (almost 3) year olds ~~

I realize I haven't been the best blogger this week, but let me tell you...It's been a rotten week.

Birk has battled an ear infection and still is having issues with sleeping.  We aren't sure at this point if now it just a routine that we've enabled by going into his room every night.  Last night when he cried out for the third or fourth time he instructed Nick "to lay down next to his bed and sleep."  um???  :-)  We're hoping to get this figured out soon.

We should be traveling today to Cincinnati for our follow up appointment, but due to the fact that he has been sick they decided to cancel.  So I am thankful for a day at home w/ my family.

Addy has been, well ADDY!! The thing I love about Addy is that she is strong willed.  I love that she knows what she wants and isn't afraid to let us know.  However, this is also one of the biggest challenges we have with Addy too.  :-)  I guess we can't have our cake and eat it too...

Nick celebrated his 33rd birthday this week.  On Tuesday night I decided to have a little celebration.  I went to preschool registration, stopped at Hy-Vee and got a cake and make some dinner.  I guess the dinner wasn't the twins' favorite as they both ended up gagging on the noodles and throwing up at the table and then screaming for cake.  Woah!  It was a very blessed and happy birthday for Nick!  :-)

We have been grateful and sad at the same time that this week was B's first official start at daycare.  We had to say goodbye to a very special nurse (he has had 2 VERY special home nurses in his life).  However, now he can be with his sister all the time and hang out w/ his friends at daycare all week long.  :-)

Long story short...not much else has changed in our lives.  Same story...different chaotic day it seems.  I thought I'd send out a few little twin "isms" to share with all of you!  I guess it is these moments that make the others seem TOTALLY WORTH IT!

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As we were riding in the car on Friday headed to daycare I wouldn't allow the twins to watch TV so we were listening to the Message on Sirius/XM.

Addy:  "Hey, wait!!  This is a song about Jesus."
Me: "Why yes it is a song about Jesus."
Addy:  "I love songs about Jesus."

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Nick and I made the decision to sponsor a little boy from Vietnam while we were at the Winter Jam concert.  We introduced his picture to the twins and now he proudly hangs on our fridge door.

Nick: (pointing to the picture) "Who is that Birk?"
Birk: "My baby brother boy."

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Hope you all have a very blessed Christ filled week!  :-)

Family Photos

Thanks to Red Deer Studios and our good friend Brian Duffy for taking our pictures! ~

Cincinnati Trip

Has been cancelled for our follow up on Monday.  With B's double ear infection and the fact that I made the decision to put him back on steroids due to his rapid breathing and extra effort to breathe during the night they decided that he wasn't healthy enough for Monday's appt.  They also decided that it was too dangerous to give him a general for the Scope.

The dilemma for me is that this is our one month post operation appt to determine if everything is still looking good and there are no "tweaks" that need to be made.  So what is more important....the risk of giving him a general or waiting an extra month and there could be some changes that need to be made within his airway.   We have no indication that says there is anything wrong, it is just a comfort that I would have with having them go in there and say "yup, everything still looks good."

I guess time will tell!

We have a source

I took Birk back to the doctor today after a weekend of NO sleep, high fevers and lots of nightmares.  Turns out the sweet child has a double ear infection.  The one on his left ear was pretty severe (which explains the constant "owie's" we heard through the night).  They are thinking due to the pain and lack of sleep that is where the dreams are stemming from.  Let's hope.  This poor child just needs sleep and lots of it.

So, I'm home one more day and his first official day at day care has been delayed.  None the less he will get there.  :-)

He is currently sleeping and for what I hope to be A LONG NAP!!!!!

Thanks to all for the prayers you may have sent out way.  We sure hope we have found what is causing all these sleeping issues!