Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Being made to feel guilty

A huge weight that I've been carrying today is really been quite difficult for me and I figured maybe a good blog post would help me try and work through this. 

Since Birks' diagnosis yesterday we've been really trying to come up with a game plan for the next 6 weeks to keep him as healthy as possible.  Our current nurse is going on vacation starting tomorrow and we got notice today that they were sending a replacement and she was stopping by today.  WELL...given the fact that Birk is fairly sick I wasn't too pleased to know that someone new would be in our home and working with our son.  Someone who has NO idea about his health issues and what to watch for.  Well... needless to say I was lead on a giant guilt trip by our nursing agency because I didn't give enough notice...(as if they gave me enough notice with less than a day ... and didn't even tell me, but told our nurse?)  Anyway, my struggle here is that I feel like I'm doing what is best for my son.  I want someone who can watch him and know what is good, what is something we should worry about and what to do to help him.  I don't need to feel guilty....NOR do I deserve to feel guilty.  

I'm a mom.  I have my children's best interest at heart and I won't let this drag me down any further.  

I am happy to report that the person that we know and who knows Birk who will be watching him the next 3 days is none other than his favorite in home nurse and BEST FRIEND, Nicole. Nicole got married in June and moved away from us.  This has been a hard transition for not only Birk, but for our family.  She became a great friend of mine and someone who I totally 100% trusted my son in her care.  He loves her so very much and we are so excited that his 'Micole' is back for a few days.  :-)  

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