It was a pizza ordering night!

Only because its Monday!  I'm not sure what my deal was, but I was just in a bit of a funk.  Kids were sick this weekend, have a lot coming up with work and with Birk.  Hopefully soon we will have a date for the surgery lined up.  That might make our life a bit easier.  :-)  

It's funny how a piece of pizza, 2 two year olds at the dinner table singing makes life much easier.  I never imagined how much Baa Baa Black Sheep would make me feel better.

On a positive note, we do have our FINAL high risk follow up appointment tomorrow at Mercy.  We also hope to see some of our favorite nurses while we are there.  I know the twins don't know how special that place is to us, but it will always be a place I will never forget.  More importantly the people inside that NICU.  They are miracle workers and I owe many of them a depth of gratitude for saving my babies.

Here is a video I hope you enjoy.  Can you believe these two were born at 24 weeks, 6 days?

Here is hoping to a better day tomorrow.

Ugh...

Seriously.  That is all I have to say after the weekend we just had.  

First off, one of my favorite people on the planet came to visit us this weekend w/ her husband and son to help us do some things around the house and hang with me.  That was the good part.  

The other part included, sick kids, a daughter who is cutting a tooth, has a weird hip, a son who was sick w/ a high fever and needs suctioning quite often, then a daughter who got the fever, was whining, crying, only wanted to hang on my leg unless I was holding her, and struggled to be 2 years old most of the weekend. 

We did get a major project done around the house.  Had some great New Orleans Gumbo, and a few beers this weekend. 

Here is to hoping for healthy kids, no more crying, whining and screaming...and a good work week. 

:-)  

Are you kidding me?

So my daycare lady calls me today to tell me that Addy had a bit of a fall this morning (nothing out of the ordinary) and that you would have though her leg was cut off with a butter knife at the drama she was causing.  However, a few hours later it appeared her ankle was swollen and she wasn't letting down about her 'owie.'  So I called the dr., they squeezed us in and off we went DURING NAP TIME for our appt.  It turns out she twister her ankle, but they also noticed she was walking in a funny way.  She wasn't putting her full weight on her foot and grabbing at her thigh/hip.  Turns out something her joints in her hip are a bit swollen.  Something fairly common in kids.  Transient Synovitis is the full name of what she has.  Nothing major and is only treated w/ motrin to reduce the swelling.  I'm supposed to take her back if the pain persists and motrin doesn't help.  So, my question is, with as dramatic as Addy is and how she still holds onto 'owies' she got weeks ago, how will I know if this is getting better?  :-)

Needless to say her nap was not that great and she is quite the delight tonight (note the sarcasm here).  Lets hope for her 2 year old hip joints to stop swelling soon!

2's

I find it often funny when people realize I have twins.  I hear a lot of comments or questions like, 'Man, you must buy a lot of diapers?"  or "Man, you have to buy 2 of everything?"  Some of my favorites are. "Are they identical?", "Does twins run in your family?", "Are you busy?", "Are you done having kids?"

It's funny to me that people ask these questions which sometimes seem very silly to me.  For example, I wouldn't walk up to someone with one child and say, "do kids run in your family?" 

Truth of the matter is I am blessed beyond belief.  I can't even begin to thank God enough for allowing me to have 2 kids at the same time.  To feel them kick (sometimes each other) inside of me, to see them move in my tummy (even for a short while) and now watch as they are growing into the best friends is amazing.  Don't get me wrong...THEY FIGHT!  They don't share well, they yell, hit, pinch and sometimes don't like each other....BUT then there are the hugs, the holding hands and the 'mooches' (kisses) that just melt my heart. 

So, to answer some of your questions. 
1. I DO buy a lot of diapers.  I always have.  I have not known any different as I have never bought diapers for one child at a time. 
2. I do typically buy 2 of everything.  I want to avoid the fighting.
3. They are not identical.  One is a boy and one is a girl.  I can provide diagrams as to how that makes them different if that will help!  :-)
4. Twins do run in our families.  We both have fantastic sets of twin cousins.  I'm not sure they had too much to do with us having our twins though! 
5. Yes, I am busy.  I'm a working mother.  I would like to meet a mother (who works or not) one who isn't busy (no matter how many kids she has).
6. I don't know what God's plan for our family is yet.  That is not for me to decide!!! 

Hopefully I didn't offend anyone!!!  :-)

Mommy's Monday

So we're driving along in the car the other day and the twins are both in the back seat saying 'Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy."  I've learned to semi tune this out, but now they have learned that if they just get a little louder I can't handle it.  So, then I hear...  "MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY..."  I turn around and ask "what do you guys need" and Addy turns her head to the side and starts looking out the window and Birk just cracks one of his most adorable smiles at me. 

Ugh.... I love those kids.   

Friday's Favorites

I know I've said it over and over, but this week is very special to us.  We've waited along time to hear those words that Birk is ready for surgery.  Man, it means a whole new world for our little guy....  I think that is by far my favorite moment this week.  As soon as I heard those words my eyes filled with tears and I began to cry.  The doctor then gave me one of those looks like "I know!  You make my job worth it."  As he left he shook my hand and looked into my eyes.  Then Dr. Cotton (who is the lead surgeon on the team and the best in the world and also who doesn't like to touch other people) patted me on the back!  In those moments I knew that this team wasn't just about operating on kids....it was about KIDS!  They care about these children.  They want them to live normal lives and have a chance!  I was moved to tears again. I'm sure I looked like a fool, but at that moment I just didn't care.  My son meant something to a team of doctors who have seen thousands of kids and they saw in me (hopefully) what it meant that they have the knowledge and the know how to do what they do.  

I'm sure they will never read this blog, but this week YOU are my favorite.  Thank you for investing in the lives of children.  Thank you for making this your mission.  It involves long days, time away from your families and I'm sure so much stress I can't even imagine.  But what you provide for these children and for their families is remarkable.  My thankfulness to them will be eternal.  You are giving my son a chance at normal.  We have tried our best to create normal for him, but I do see the looks, the stares and I know there are questions.  

This will soon hopefully be a distant memory!!!  

Song for the week

What a week!  It's been a whirlwind of emotions (both good and bad).  We are so thrilled to finally be ready for Birk to be Trache free, but anxious about how he will respond and recover from surgery.  This week I thought I'd share a recording we made of Nick singing the song he wrote for the twins when they were baptized.  The recording isn't the best, but it really is a beautiful song! 

Pictures from our trip

Birk is an amazing rider in the car. 

Birk and Daddy at dinner. 

Cincinnati Chilren's Hospital! 

Daddy and Birk by the Ohio river. 

Mommy and Birk by the Ohio river. 

He loves to ride on our shoulders! 

God is good!

What a day!  Birk did amazing today and we got some wonderful news that we've waited a while to get.  Birk is ready for surgery.  He is big enough and everything looked good so we can now schedule the date.  This is exciting, but also a bit scary as we move towards what surgery means.  What we do know is we are thankful...for all the prayers, well wishes, and for the love that only God can provide.  Our journey for a trache free child is just beginning so feel free to follow  along!!  

With LOVE, 

Robertson family

Surgery

Birk just went in for surgery.  We were scheduled for 11:00, and they took us back at 11:30.  What a long time for a poor little guy to go w/o breakfast.  He did good, considering.  Nick carried him back and he was armed with his SpongeBob pillow and his Bebe (blanket).  Nick held him as I held his head while they put him to sleep.  As a parent NOTHING can prepare you for that feeling.  Even though I know he is just sleeping, it seems surreal and it brings me to tears.  They told us about 50 minutes or so....

Tuesday's Clinic Visit

So today we finished our drive to Cincinnati and had a clinic visit with Dr. Boesch.  We have gone into this week.  We have hope that it will be time, but we don't want to be crushed like we were in April. Some good things have happened though.  When we got to the office today we did notice that it was incredibly busy.  We decided to occupy our time playing games on the iPad, dancing in the waiting room and watching some movies on the TV.  When the Dr. noticed we were still in the waiting room he quickly went back and got us a room and saw us.  That was very heartwarming for us to see as know we know that they know our sweet little man.  They care for him and they care for us.  The doctor did a great job of not allowing us to get our hopes up like he did back in April.  He was just as sure in April as we were....this time we are just going in to check.  That does help us quite a bit.

Tomorrow will again bring a wave of emotions for us.  As we watch our little man fall asleep and go in for this scope we are yet hopeful, but know that we have to practice patience.  This team of doctors is beyond amazing and they care so much for each and every patient they take on.  We feel so comfortable here in Cincinnati, we feel so confident in the team who is going to be helping our son.  What an amazing experience to be able to work with them.

Nick and I also spent some time at dinner tonight talking about all the kids we've seen since coming to this hospital.  We still find it strange that we are awe struck when we see a kid with a Trache.  There are times when I look around and I just feel sadness at this place.  There are so many kids and families who deal with so much.  Kids who will have LIFE LONG challenges that they will need to tackle.  What I try to remind myself of is that this is not a place of sadness.  This is a place where God shows us the miracles that he can perform.  He can give us the opportunity to learn how to treat and heal children who have these challenges.  He also shows us the innocence that a child can bring.

It makes me remember our first visit in the summer of 2009.  We were about to get on the elevator and I was feeling quite a bit sorry for myself.  As we were about to get on the elevator I looked down and saw this beautiful girl who had the baldest head and the biggest set of blue eyes.  She looked at me and in her best southern accent said "nice to meet you ma'am."  Instantly I took a step back and asked myself 'What do I have to feel sorry for?"  That little girl might have to battle that ugly disease for many years, or she may lose her battle to that illness.  I am amazed every time I set foot in this building.  Cincinnati Children's is a wonderful place and has a wonderful team of doctors/nurses.  I'm excited (and nervous) for what tomorrow will bring.  We continue to pray for the good news that we need for Birk.  :-)

You're prayers, visits, texts, emails and Facebook messages are so meaningful to us.  Please know that they don't go unread/un-noticed.  God Bless You!

J

We also talked to Addy via face time tonight.  What a blessing to have the technology when we can't be with her.  I'm so happy to report she is happy and is being spoiled by her Aunt Jodi, her Woo, her cousins and her Uncle Greg.  :-)  We miss her terribly, but we are glad that she is well taken care of.

Mommy's Monday

Whew...I actually think coming to work this morning was a small break from the chaos that today brings.  Packing for 3 people, making sure the house was clean, kids are fed, and read to go has been quite the handful.  Thank goodness for my mom who helps me in any way she can. 

Hotels are booked, check.  Bag packed, check.  Good friend coming to water the grass, check.  Addy's excited to go my sisters, check.  Birk has toys and Dora movies, check.  Nick and I have diet dew, check.  NOW...we just need the good news we are hoping for. 

On a different note, we met quite a few of our neighbors this weekend as one of the neighborhoods near us had a block party.  It is so neat to see the amount of kids that Addy and Birk can play with.  Plus new friends for us!  The block party was perfect for adults and kids.  They had bikes, popcorn, and after dark a movie projected on someone's garage.  What neat ideas!  I love the family atmosphere that Ankeny brings.  What a nice change of pace from our old neighborhood.  Lots to do, lots of friends and fun to be had! 

This weeks blog's might change a bit as I do want to keep everyone in the loop on Birk.  If you are the one person who will miss my stupid ramplings, I apologize.  :-) 

SON day

So, this is the week that I feel like I've been dreading and waiting for at the same time.  We leave tomorrow after work for that lovely 9 hour drive back to the Children's hospital in Cincy!  I'm feeling like maybe I'm putting a lot of hope into this trip as we are all ready (Birk included) to start living a Trach free life, but am also wondering how am I going to REALLY feel when I hear those words 'he's ready.'  Will I be excited?  Will I be scared?  Will I cry?  Likely all of the above.

So, my post is about the SON today.  I am putting my full faith in him.  He has Birk in his wings and knows what is best for my little dude.  There is a reason for everything.  I do love when I hear people say 'it's a God thing', it is making me wonder...will this week happen to turn into a God thing?

As much as I've focused on Birk and our trips to Ohio I'm also reflecting on what this means for Addy.  A little girl who might be away from me (and/or her Daddy and brother) for a few days/week at a time when surgery comes.  What that will feel like for her?  What if we bring her to the hospital will she be there to help Birk heal and recover?  Her spirit is so huge these days...that it might just be a little too much (or a little too loud) for the residents of Cincinnati Children's Hospital!  :-)

So my prayer tonight is selfish.  I pray for good news this week.  I pray our trip is quick and not so boring.  I pray Birk does great.  I pray Addy has fun with my mom.  I pray that what is supposed to happen...does.

Amen.

Saturday's Sum it up!! :-)

2 posts in one day...LUCKY YOU!

This week has been filled with so much greatness!  We took the kids to 2 baseball games this week.  Sunday afternoon we took the kids and had so much fun we decided to take them again on Tuesday night.  We invited a great group of people to go and I put together a small tailgate.  We had a blast.  I think we had more fun in the parking lot than in the game.  :-)  It's so fun to watch the kids have fun.

Thursday landed Nick and I at the fair.  We scored some fantastic seats (6th row) to the Casting Crowns/Sanctus Real concert on the day of the show.  In my opinion, there is something very powerful about heading to a Christian concert...and this one met all our expectations!!!  What a powerful worship experience.  God is good!!

This weekend has been filled with family time and lots of fun.  Friday night took us to the CLC for Finally Friday and a great concert by Risen and Hevel.  The kids danced, ran and clapped to the great music.  We got home late and went right to bed.  This morning we woke up and went to one of the fun parks close by our new house.  We had so much fun we lost track of time and spent close to 2.5 hours there!  WOW!  We then decided to do some quick shopping in our new town.  We must have wore the kiddo's out because Birk man fell asleep sitting in the cart!  We quickly decided to grab some lunch and head home.  They are now down for their naps.  Nick and I are watching a movie, with the windows open, fresh air coming in and waiting for grandparents to arrive.  Again, GOD IS GOOD!

Favorite Friday's

I realize I'm a day late, but yesterday was filled with so many fun things I didn't have time to post.  So here is a list of my favorite things from this week.
10.  Learning about new running paths around our new neighborhood.
9.  Smiling at our neighbors and getting to know so many of them.
8.  Having a runner's high!
7.  A baseball tailgate and a baseball game with terrific friends!!
6. The most beautiful evening on the deck with my husband and a Miller Lite.
5. Seeing great friends from Florida.  Watching how a baby can change a couple who was already so great together...be even more great!
4. Having a corn dog at the fair.
3. Attending a GREAT Christian concert that reminds me that I'm not alone with my faith journey.  Lots of things were said that hit both Nick and I!  :-)
2. Watching Birk and Addy learn new things and say new things each day.  They are growing up.
1. Listening to the sound of a child's laughter!

Tune Time -- "Wouldn't Change a Thing"

I feel that I often blog so much about the children (ok, lets be honest when I say so much....I blog occasionally), but fail to talk about the rest of the aspects of my life.  I have a great family, fabulous friends, a wonderful job and now a new home with great neighbors.  I also have the love of a man that is more than I feel I deserve at times.  When I heard this song by Matthew West it made me smile and feel very much affected by the message.  I know there are times where things don't go my way, kids are screaming, we have health issues, my husband doesn't help as much as I'd like....but would I change it?  No.  Not for a second.  Days are filled with laughter, tears, messes, hugs, mooches and plenty of fun to go around. To steal the line from Baby Mama "It's messy, but great"   I hope someday to be sitting on a beach holding my husband's hand and look over and say "I wouldn't change a thing!" 

Wordless Wednesday

Don't you wish you could listen to a child laugh ALL the time!  What better way to spend your mid-week!!

My hopes for this blog

So after reading several of my friends blogs I've decided that I need to be better about this.  I want to be able to look back on this and remember these precious moments that are more of less fleeting from our lives.  I want to savor what things felt like (good and bad) and laugh at the funny stories that we are encountering.  So...in the hopes of accomplishing this I've decided to organize my daily (I'm being pretty hopeful here) blogs.

Monday - Mommy's Maniac Mondays
A collection of my thoughts, rants, fears and just the everyday thoughts that go through my head.  (NOTE: Read at your own risk)

Tuesday -  2's day
The blessings of having twins.  Experiences and stories that might warm your heart, make you giggle or feel thankful you don't have 2 kiddo's the same age!  :-)
 
Wednesday - Wordless Wednesday
OR like Nick wants me to call it "Worthless Wednesday" since I won't be writing on this day, but rather hopefully posting pictures or videos.

Thursday - Tune Thursday
We will share our favorite song or lyrics to our favorite song on Thursdays.  We do a lot of singing.  We sing in the car, the house, the dinner table...in fact anywhere and everywhere.

Friday - Favorites Friday
Some of our favorite moments from the week.

Saturday - Sum it up Saturday
You will find I have a little bit of everything and a little bit of nothing to share on Saturdays.

Sunday - SONday
In our own way we want to spend time thanking and giving praise to God.  What better day than SONday?

So there you go.  :-)  Thanks for stopping by!

Upcoming Trip

So we have come to that moment of truth again with Birk. Next Monday we will make the 9 hour drive to Cincinnati, Ohio again to see Dr. Boech and Dr. Cotton to see if our sweet little man is now ready for surgery. This becomes such an emotional and exhausting roller coaster. The thrill of the fact that this could be it...we could have a Trach free little boy, but the worry of what this means for him. How much he will have to endure and go through. If I know one thing to be true is that Birk is strong. He has a strength that I can never measure up to. He has time and time again proved to me that he can make it through challenges such as this.

I know I've asked for many MANY prayers in the last 2.5 years, but again I find myself asking once more. I know compared to some families our situation is small. Birk is doing amazing, he is happy, he talks, sings, plays baseball and doesn't even care that he has a trach.....but what a blessing it will be the day that I can see his sweet little neck. When I was little my Aunt Jan used to give me soft little kisses on the back of my neck and whisper "I got your sweet spot." It makes me smile thinking about giving Birk a "mooch" on his "sweet little spot."

I know God is watching over Birk and making sure all of this happens when it is supposed to happen. It's not my to determine. I know Bomps is watching from Heaven and is going to ensure that "little Toad" will be ok, but each and every extra prayer that can go up can do this. Praise a God who will watch over my special boy. Praise him for the blessings he has given us (even in the form of fears). Praise a God who will show us his divine mercy through the medical staff and the people of this facility who give life and hope back to so many families.

So, my prayer will be for this week as I prepare for our trip...

Dear God,
Thank you for again reminding me that you've got my back. :-) You've blessed me with the greatest miracles I could have ever imagined. You've also got Birk in the palm of your hand and you will watch over him every day for the rest of his life. I will try to remember that you know what needs to happen and you will be with us through the entire journey (in fact you've never left our side).